I am so new to this mom thing. I am currently only six weeks in and it hardly makes me feel qualified to speak about this new title that I have had bestowed upon me. With that being said, my favourite thing so far about being a mom is grasping at the reality that I am someone's mom. I truly thought that I would have had all my babies by the age of 25, but seeing as I did not marry the love of my life until I was 30, the wait seemed forever. Each day I look into my baby girl's eyes and I am reminded that she is all mine and my heart is the most full it has ever been. I just keep thinking I cannot believe that she is here.
Again to reiterate, I am a newbie in this club called motherhood and I am sure that each season will present different challenges. I think the hardest thing about motherhood is the mommy guilt. I have caught myself using negative self-talk by calling myself a "bad mom" on a number of occasions since Emersyn has been born. I think moms need to give themselves more grace. I am now telling myself that it is okay to not have it all figured out or be able to do it all. I do not want to get caught up in comparing myself to other moms. Instead, I want to focus my energy on raising my little girl and enjoying her as she grows. I am being more gentle with myself because being a new mom is hard work and the biggest adjustment of my life.
For years my mother told me that I did not undestand how much she loves me and I think I finally get it. I am so surprised by how much I can love this little human. It is so delightful to discover that there is another dimension to love that I am learning about. I often jokingly refer to my daughter as my boss, but she is more like my teacher. She shows me the depth of love that a parent can have for their child and brings new understanding to the love my Heavenly Papa has for me.