I’ve been surprised by a lot of things, but I think what’s surprised me most is how easy it is to not feel good enough. Its so easy to compare myself to other women and other mom’s. I find myself looking at people’s perfect snapshots online about how much they’ve accomplished today…they did all the laundry and made dinner from scratch and baked 5 loaves of bread and then ran a 5K. I’ve consciously started trying to post great moments, but to also post real life moments. Because if all we see from other moms is the perfect second of their day that they choose to show the world, it makes it that much easier to feel less than.
I’ve often thought that my husband must see all of these posts from perfect moms and think, “Wow, I wish my wife was that awesome at taking care of our house and our kids.” I finally had a conversation with him and he said that it was the complete opposite. He told me, “I’d so much rather come home to a happy, rested, joyful wife than a spotless home with dinner from scratch steaming on the table, and a wife that’s so exhausted that she’s about to completely lose it.
And he’s right! We need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves as moms! Its not a contest. Every mom is different. And that’s okay. There will be really great days where we get so much accomplished, and we feel like the Queen of the world! And other days, we may stay in our pj’s until 3pm with a sink full of dishes, crumbs all over the floor, and the thought of a shower feeling like a distant memory. And that’s okay too.
I’ve come to realize that my kids don’t care how messy my house is!!! It never fails to amaze me how the house can be immaculate. I mean beautiful. And then I literally go to the bathroom for 2.5 minutes, and when I come back, the house is a disaster zone. I’m learning to let it go.
If I’m hovering over them to clean up their mess every second they’re trying to play, its not very much fun for them. One day, my daughter came up to me as I was sweeping the floor for the millionth time that day and she said, “Mommy, can you just sit and play with me?” And I had to consciously stop trying to clean...stop trying to have the house look like it belonged on the cover of a magazine and just be PRESENT with my kids.
Because we all hear that saying One day, the house will be clean, but it will be empty, and we will long for those days of little hands and feet and sloppy, wet kisses and morning cuddles with our little ones who aren’t little anymore.
Life is messy and it is beautiful and on a daily basis, I am choosing to embrace both.
There are so many things I love about being a mom. But I would have to say that I most love the unconditional love that comes from my kids. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself, “Wow…you did not do a good job today.” And I think that so many of us feel that. Whether we just didn’t get anything at all accomplished, the house is a disaster zone or whether we lost our temper when talking to our kids.
It’s too easy to compare ourselves to other moms that we think have it all together. But we as moms need to realize that we are all different- we have different strengths, different weaknesses, we had different labors, and we have different bodies. We are all different and that’s okay. But one thing is for certain. None of us are perfect.
What I love most about being a mom is that my kids think I’m the most amazing mom in the world. On one of those days where I felt like I just didn’t have it all together, my daughter walked up to me, wrapped me in the biggest, warmest hug, planted a lip-glossy kiss on my cheek and said, “I love you so much, mom. You are beautiful. And you are the bestest Mommy in the whole wide world.”
I suddenly feel like I’m doing something right. My kids don’t care how messy the house is or how much I weigh, or if tonight’s dinner took me 4 hours to make, or was picked up hurriedly at the grocery store on the way home from a crazy day. They just need love and quality time. One squishy little hug and suddenly all that other “stuff” doesn’t matter. It helps me gain perspective and remember what’s really important. It reminds me that they won’t be little forever. My kids think I’m doing an awesome job, and they are my target audience. Their unconditional love, even when I think I don’t deserve it, means everything.
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